Pausa--still the vogtland

today began another week of visiting schools...we already visited four classes today (3 religion, 1 english), and we have a concert tonight. sometimes it gets difficult doing the same things over and over again, especially since you have to be just as excited when you sing the same song for the fourteenth time that day. my teammates are also starting to get sick from the stress; i'm waiting for when it's going to hit me. each day feels like a rollercoaster of emotions: one moment i'm enjoying myself to the fullest, the next i feel so lost and alone. but through all the joys and miseries i can see that the Lord is working hard on me; i feel like there is an ongoing battle for my loyalty--if i will turn to God in my struggle, or rely upon my own strength. today God reminded me that sometimes we must look for him in silence. the landscape in this area is beautiful; rolling hills covered with snow, dotted with houses and clusters of trees. as i was walking today, i was overwhelmed by the silence of the hills. i intended my walk to be a time when i could think over some things that had been bothering me recently, but God just gave me silence.

This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not
When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob
Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross
Then what about the times when even followers get lost?
'Cause we all get lost sometimes...

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

--Andrew Peterson, The Silence of God